Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace: Why EQ Beats Ego for Better Leadership and Team Performance

I once coached a company whose board members boasted more MBAs than you could shake a stick at. Great on paper, but behind closed doors it was a battle of the egos.

Miscommunication. Disengagement. Conflict. Micromanagement. Losing good people. Backstabbing. Distrust. A toxic culture, hiding behind qualifications and cleverness.

You could have an entire alphabet after your name, but it’ll only get you so far if you can’t see past your own perspective or connect with the people around you.

The missing piece? 

Emotional intelligence in the workplace. 

Is IQ important? Absolutely. But it’s EQ that helps you lead

Conversations I’m having with HR and L&D leaders recently about challenges in the workplace are showing a trend - leadership gaps in emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (sometimes abbreviated to EQ or EI) has become one of the most sought-after qualities in the modern workplace, particularly if you're stepping into leadership or working in high-performance environments.

The penny's finally dropping - clever doesn't automatically mean capable. 

We’re also seeing the ripple effects of an education system that drills into graduates that qualifications matter more than behaviour. From foundation through to final year, pupils are constantly being assessed on their grades and pushed to do better. Young people entering the workplace who are technically brilliant but sadly lacking in self awareness.

So, what does it actually mean to be emotionally intelligent? And how does it affect our ability to manage, lead, and succeed?

The four components of emotional intelligence

EQ is the ability to understand and manage our emotions to help us recognise and respond appropriately to the emotions of people around us.

There are various models, but in my coaching sessions I often refer to the Emotional Intelligence Quadrant created by Daniel Goleman.

It outlines four areas shared by emotionally intelligent people:

• Self-awareness – understanding your emotions, trigger points, and your impact on others.

• Self-management – displaying self-regulation so your emotions don’t get the better of you.

• Social awareness – reading the room, having strong social skills, and showing empathy to others.

• Relationship management – communicating clearly, building trust, and handling conflict constructively.

Why emotional intelligence really matters at work

Emotions aren't just something we have in our personal relationships - we're only human, so the things that upset us can set us off at work too.

So, it's crucial for effective leaders and employees to have the emotional and interpersonal skills to thrive in the workplace as well as at home.

Leaders with high levels of emotional intelligence can impact:

• Healthier workplace cultures – positive environments where everyone feels seen and valued.

• Better retention – people want to stay because they feel understood rather than undermined.

• Strong collaboration – less power struggles, more progress.

• Resilience under pressure – fewer meltdowns and conflicts when things go wrong.

• Higher performance – because people want to show up and do great work.

Is low EQ holding your business back?

You can spot it a mile off:

• Differences of opinion that never get resolved.

• Leaders who micromanage because they can’t connect with or trust others.

• Talented people burning out or leaving because of poor communication and strained relationships.

• Brilliant business owners plateauing but because they lack people skills.

These are often highly qualified people, but if they can't understand emotions, stay calm under pressure, or relate to their colleagues, they're going to struggle to fulfil their potential.

What high EQ leaders look like 

High emotional intelligence doesn’t mean being soft - it means being self-aware and conducting yourself in a healthy, effective way - even when you feel uncomfortable.

Emotionally intelligent leaders are:

• Self-aware – they know their strengths and weaknesses.

• Able to read the room – they pick up on changes in energy and behaviour.

• Clear communicators – they give constructive feedback and genuinely listen.

• Calm under pressure – they don’t take things personally or react in rash or defensive ways. 

• People-smart, not just book-smart – they understand logic alone rarely drives behaviour.

Can you learn EQ? Yes... but be prepared for some discomfort

Unlike your IQ, your EQ isn’t fixed and it can be improved.

It's a skill you can develop through coaching, feedback, and honest self-reflection.

I worked with a senior manager who was super smart on paper, but he was convinced for years that his way was the only way. 

His approach was: “I’m more intelligent than everyone else, so of course I’m right. The rest of them are idiots.”

It took time and tough conversations, but he’s now owning his behaviour, listening to understand and making significant changes. 

And the results are showing in the business - he's developing stronger relationships, more trust, and there’s been a noticeable shift in how his team responds to him.

OK so this is a generalisation, but I’m going to say it anyway: I see this combination of high IQ and low EQ more often in men.

And it’s no wonder when you think about it. From a young age, us girls are handed dolls and told to look after them. Boys get action figures and swords and are told to crack on, toughen up, and conquer the world.  

Not exactly a well-rounded start for anyone, is it? 

We all need a blend of ambition, skill, and emotional awareness to succeed - and not just at work, but in life generally. 

Start building stronger relationships now by promoting emotional intelligence in the workplace 

Running a business without a high level of emotional intelligence in your team is like driving a fancy car without a steering wheel - you have all the speed and power, yet none of the control over where you're heading, terrifying!!

Investing in emotional intelligence builds a culture where accountability and wellbeing go hand in hand - and I absolutely LOVE helping businesses to adapt.  

I provide bespoke 1-1 and group coaching for leaders and teams to overcome your obstacles and build a healthier culture through straight-talking advice and practical solutions. 

Check out our workshops to learn more about how we can help you to develop emotional intelligence in your business.