Coach or Confront? How to Deal with Difficult Employees In Your Business

Being your own boss or stepping up to the board seems exciting, yet you probably didn't factor in the frustration of difficult employees who undermine you, question everything, and create a toxic environment.

Disruptive behaviour has a massive impact on your work environment, productivity, and morale. So what's the solution? 

Managing people is a challenge - there's no two ways about it. Like you, I've worked with some really tricky people.

But is it really that simple?

If you're struggling to deal with a difficult employee, keep reading to get to the root cause and pick up some practical solutions you can try right away.

Reframing 'difficult'

If I had £1 for every time I'd heard the term ‘difficult employee’ working as a corporate coach for leaders and teams, I'd be sipping an Aperol on the Amalfi Coast rather than a Yorkshire Tea in my back garden. 

I started out in corporate, and I've been guilty of labelling people as difficult myself.

But the truth is, it's a lot more complex than that.

We're all human, and I really think most of us turn up to work wanting to do a good job.

So, let's take a more curious approach to people who don't behave how we think they should.

Laziness? Bad attitude? Or secret option number 3?

Let's look at some examples you may be coming up against in your workplace:

• Lack of motivation

• Taking too long to complete tasks 

• Resistant/defensive to feedback

• Negative behaviour

• No contribution to meetings

• Questioning decisions

• Missing deadlines 

• Cut off from the rest of the team 

Sound familiar? What looks like poor performance is often a misunderstanding.

Say you have an employee who misses deadlines without explaining why. Maybe they’re bogged down by perfectionism and terrified of getting it wrong?

Or, perhaps they’re neurodivergent and need specific instructions delivered in a clear format.

It's not me, it's you?

So, is it them, or you?

By no means is this an attack on your management style. 

Most managers I know are doing their very best, having been thrown in at the deep end - did you know only 44% of managers have ever received formal management training? The mind boggles! 

So, let’s keep an open mind about whether there’s an opportunity for you to learn something about yourself and find ways to adapt your leadership style.

The problem with confronting a difficult employee

If this issue has been bubbling away for some time now, you're probably at breaking point and ready to take action.

It's tempting to take the confrontational, disciplinary approach - you may think this shows assertiveness, but it often achieves little more than driving a bigger wedge between you and your employee.

Every employee brings their own blend of strengths, preferences, and triggers. So, one-size-fits-all just doesn't get the best out of people.

• If they seem unmotivated, find out why.

• If they seem passive, see if you can communicate differently (e.g. written vs verbal).

• If they never speak up, ask how they would like* to share ideas.

  
  

(*Quieter individuals often have the most creative ideas as they sit back and observe - so you could be missing a trick if you don't hear their voice.)

Rather than looking for solutions for managing difficult employees, consider coaching as a leadership tool 

Many of the leaders I've worked with have become stuck in a cycle of fixating on the 'problem', convinced nothing is working. 

Coaching (rather than confronting) is less about fixing problems and more about developing a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us.

This way, you create strategies that work for every professional situation, rather than playing whack-a-mole with the issue of the day.

Understanding how to lead people with different personalities, brains, and communication styles

DISC profiling is a great starting point for understanding different personalities and how to manage them.

You'll find that not everyone is the same as you. Some people are fast-paced and direct, while others are cautious and reflective. Neither is right or wrong - but a single communication style might not work for everyone.

Add neurodiversity into the mix and nine times out of ten, it's not about toxic employees, it’s about different brains with different needs.

Coaching helps you spot patterns and develop constructive, practical tools to change your approach without compromising on expectations or standards. 

And once you start to understand people better, you see better performance, productivity, engagement, morale, and profit.

Coaching is about:

• Asking the right questions

• Treating the cause rather than the symptom

• Learning active listening 

• Improving how you communicate 

• Leading in a way that brings out the best in everyone (including yourself). 

It opens you up to be curious about the why, rather than the what.

Less focus on difficult behaviour, more modelling best practice 

Hopefully, this has got you thinking about whether you're dealing with a difficult employee's behaviour, and inspired you to think about how you can lead better.

Working with a professional leadership coach gives you money-can’t-buy insight into yourself and others.

The sooner you start, the sooner you see results - like stronger relationships and happier workplaces where everyone brings their best self to work. 

I’m Liz, the Bold Moves Coach, and I help visionary leaders build engaged, high-performing teams through honest, no-nonsense coaching support and strategies.

My leadership coaching services give you a personalised path forward to turn your people into your most valuable asset and see real business impact. 

Let’s have a chat and see how I can help you out with that.